Monday, March 22, 2010

A New Direction

Two months ago I had an idea in my head of where I wanted to be and who I wanted to be with the week of my 18th birthday. The Lord only knows how my idea of a so called "life" would have turned out if my plans had worked. But thankfully something very unexpected happened and a miracle was performed. My plans and the foundation for them all fell apart completely. I admit that a huge part of my heart fell apart with them and from there I was faced with a very difficult decision, I was at a crossroads in my life. Should I actually try to listen to family, my conscience, to God? Or should I continue to separate myself from them all and fulfill these fantasies of a true free life that had been slowly growing into something beyond extreme throughout the years? Well, here I am the week I turn 18. I am not anywhere near where I had so expected to be just a couple months back. Instead I am in California, I am surrounded by my beloved family, and I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be. This is where God wants me and this is what I want as well. Slowly but surely God is picking up the pieces and putting my life (and heart) back together again. Thank God for His ever enduring mercy and grace! Yes, I have regrets and there is still a lot of pain that comes with the memories that should have been sweet to look back upon. But I do believe that, for once, I have made the right choice, I am finally walking on the path that God is directing me to take and that will never become one of those regrets. This time, Lord willing, there will be no turning back.

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